He Answers Our Prayers

We have been trying to get pregnant for a while now. In September I visited with my Doctor and began fertility medication. I ovulated for the first two month on meds, but we did not get pregnant. So, we decided to up the dosage and see if that would make me more fertile.

Unfortunately, the following two months I did not ovulate. We have been wondering what is going on, and its been looking like we will have to pursue more invasive measures. As I sat in the Doctors office two weeks ago I was on the verge of tears wondering why? The thought came to me, you need to have faith and be more prayerful. I must admit, the first thought in my head was, is it even possible to have more faith and be more prayerful? But I knew the answer to that question.

This experience has brought me closer to Heavenly Father and made me realize a strength within myself I didn't know I had, its helped me find peace. I have always been wound so tightly, and this has made me realize there is so much that I am not in control of and that I have to have faith and submit to his will.

This morning a prayer was answered, after two months of thinking that there might not be any hope left, I ovulated. Now I know that this doesn't mean that I'll be pregnant tomorrow, but it does mean that there's still a chance. His hand is everywhere in everything we do, in every aspect of our lives. He knows what we need.

I Have Seen His Hand

Yesterday I had the opportunity to attend a new member baptism. It was amazing and I felt the spirit so strongly. This woman had such a fire with in her. It was a great reminder of how good it feels when you share the gospel.

He Reaches Out Through Others

Today was back to the grindstone as usual. It felt like the Christmas break lasted unusually long for us this year. With that said it was back to visiting with friends and letting Claire play. I am always amazed with how much my life is blessed by the others who surround me. I love being able to have friends who can tell me anything, or vice versa. I love having someone to call when I have a bad day, and I love knowing that there are people who feel they can call me when they are having a bad day. Too often we forget that we are not here for ourselves. We are here to make sure that everyone of our brothers and sisters make it back to our Heavenly Father. We are here to bless each others lives.

He Gives Us What We Need

My sister came to visit last week and it was great! While she was here she recieved some not-so-nice life altering news. While it did put a damper on the week, it also allowed us to talk and discuss things we wouldn't ordinarily discuss. I was reminded many times last week that Heavenly Father does indeed have a plan for us. It may not always be the way we have planned. It may not be fun or easy. But he ALWAYS gives us what we need. It's so easy to forget this, because we get so caught up in ourselves. I know that I all I have in this life is because if Him. I have been so blessed and I am forever grateful for this journey I get to make.

I Have Seen His Hand

Yesterday, an unknown person did something by mistake. It had me mad and frustrated because I thought someone I knew did something behind my back. As a result, I was forced to confront my feelings regarding this person. I am so thankful that this unknown person made a mistake. I was able to get my feelings off my chest and resolve the concerns that I had. If I had continued on with these feelings it would have been detrimental to the goals I have set out to accomplish. I need to remember that I am an instrument in his hands. We all are. We must get past the natural man and love and serve one another. That is what he would have us do.

We Get To Choose

I love that Heavenly Father's Plan is that we get to choose. The beginning of this new year I am glad that I get to choose. Choose to continue in my state of misery and woe or change my life for better. Okay, I may not be in a state of misery and woe, but it sounded good. We all complain about resolutions and making them because they are never accomplished. Who chooses that? We choose to accomplish our goals or not. Being the person that I am I always have this strange prodding in myself that I need to do better. That is what I choose, to do better. I have so many area's of improvement. So many things to accomplish. I've wondered if I post them on a blog, or shout them from the rooftops would I feel more accountable. Probably not. In my rebellious heart I would more than likely be prone not to do it just to spite you all. Heaven forbid I let myself succeed. So, I know that I need to make specific goals, I feel that any improvement is better than staying in the same place or regressing each year. That is why I just want to do better.

Do better with:

Praying
Scripture Study
Integrity
Being Healthy
Spending Time with my child
Temple Attendance
Gossiping
Having A baby --- I don't know if this is in my power anymore but I am sure I can do better
Listening
Nagging--- not being a better nagger, do less of it
Praising my husband
Criticism
Family Home Evening
Our Finances/Living on a budget
Listening to the spirit
Watching tv
Being a friend

At the end of 2008, I want to look back on my list and say I did better. Even if I only lost one pound, or stopped watching one soap opera, or completed the Book of Mormon only one time. I will know that I have done better. No more thinking I have to be perfect. I know it's impossible. I know that Heavenly Father wants be to do my best and be trying with all my might, I would give nothing less, unfortunately I always expect so much more. So, enough with the crazy ramblings. I will do better. I have aired my dirty laundry. Now I'm going to try to climb over that pile.