I Have Seen His Hand

Once again my life has stared the unthinkable in the face. I came home from a month at my mothers and found myself pregnant. Yeah!!!! Not! From the minute I found out I was pregnant there was no excitement. . . none. I was worried because I hadn't been feeling well, I was worried cause I miscarried in February, I was worried because our insurance was cancelled by our employer last month. This pregnancy did not bring the joy the other two had.

There was a reason for that. This pregnancy brought with it a grapefruit sized cyst, a whole lot of pain, a humongous price tag, and no baby.

I am grateful for the priesthood blessing, that I know played a roll in saving my life. I had been bleeding internally for quite a while. I am grateful for that monster cyst that caused me so much pain I had to get things checked out, otherwise I think I would have ignored the other signs. I am grateful for the people who are in my life right now, who make it a little easier to bear this stinking burden. I am thankful for my husband who keeps putting up with me. I am thankful for my innocent daughter who has such simple faith and hope. I know that I am blessed. I know that my life has been spared. I may not feel like it should have been right now, but I know that I have a mission on this Earth. I know that I need to get over myself and focus on what I can be doing to bless the Kingdom of My Heavenly Father.