He Give Us Prophets

I have soooooooo been procrastinating writing, and I have needed to badly. How quickly our lives change and we get so caught up in the day to day, we forget to stop and appreciate what we have. I feel as though I have been so ungrateful. Now as I am staring a bleak future in the face I look back and wish, I would have stopped and took more time to appreciate all that I have been blessed with.

Tonight as I sat at our General Relief Society Broadcast, I was reminded once again of how blessed I am. President Uchtdorf's talk really hit home for me. He first spoke on how we as women tend to undervalue our abilities. How we should be striving to please the Lord to the best of our abilities-- not perfectly but to the best of our abilities. He then spoke of finding happiness in this life-- something I have a really hard time with. He asked, what is the greatest kind of happiness? The answer God's happiness-- He went on to say that God is a God of CREATION and COMPASSION. This hit me so hard. For MONTHS I have had this burning within me to create and nurture and take care-- of what I don't know-- its been so intense I have almost felt lost. I have been out of control crafting and serving. I was beginning to feel kind of guilty for these feelings. Listening tonight made me realize that these are indeed inherent feelings that we must nurture and strengthen so that we can become more like God. He is the ultimate creator and nurturer. I need to have these desires and I need to find happiness through these things. Now I shouldn't be looking for happiness through receiving praise from others because of my creating or my service. But I should be seeking joy in the mere act of doing so.

I have found this recently-- Joy in service and creating-- amazing feelings arise within me as I have went out with the missionaries, or went visiting teaching, maybe just doing a simple favor, making something I've never made before, perfecting something, finding ways to bring joy to my husband or daughter. These things bring me JOY-- not what curtains I have, or what clothes I am wearing, or how big my house is-- those things are trivial. The thought of possibly having to work full time and losing my freedom to serve and create is what terrifies me most. I love being available if a friend needs help, or taking a day to sit in my studio and create till my hearts content I cherish these moments with all of my heart. Too the point of selfishness almost.

President Uchtdorf quoted President Hinckley as saying, "The more we serve our fellow man the more substance there is to our souls."

I can't tell you the times when I was emotionally and spiritually in anguish-- the only thing to relieve this pain was SERVICE-- Thank You to the Bishop that made me compassionate service leader, thank you to my Aunt who made me the Assistant coach for her little girls softball team, thank you to the Bishop that made me Young Women's president. All took place when I was being swallowed by anguish in my life.

Work does cure your grief! Serving others is such a blessing to ones life. I've had people ask me why I like to go out with the Sister Missionaries, and as I have pondered this I've realized, number one, because I have always wanted to serve a mission, but number two because of the way I feel the rest of the day, and the next few days-- my soul is fed and joy literally abounds.

The gospel of Jesus Christ is such a glorious thing-- it brings me peace and direction in my life. I am so blessed to be a member of Christ's church, to know that I am a daughter of God, to know that my time on this Earth is to be creating and rejoicing and taking care of one another. I only hope to remember this-- to strive to appreciate all the joy and beauty that surrounds me. I know that if I am faithful to the covenants and commandments I have been given, my life will be blessed and I will need not fear.