The last few weeks have left me feeling spiritually asleep. The first week after the miscarriage I prayed a lot and studied and felt prayers were answered. Then, I don't know if it was to cover the emotions I was feeling or what, but I just stopped feeling. As a result I've been focussing on everything, but my spirituality, trying not to get caught up in things that make me feel. So, sorry for the dry spell here. I know that my burdens would be lighter if I would take a little more time to recognize what I have been given. Unfortunately, I have these blinders on that only allow me to see negative.
One thing I have been totally aware of are the people Heavenly Father has surrounded me with. Wow, its amazing what a few good friends can do. I have been blessed by the wonderful friends I have who have made an effort to be there for me. I am so grateful for this right now. Thank You!
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2 comments:
I miscarried on December 6, 2007 and I still feel like some days I'm stuck in a dead fog. It was one of the darkest times of my life, but at the same time it is strange because I look back on that and I realize it was also a very spiritually enlightening and spiritually gratifying time.
I think it was because the hope, happiness, and dream of that new life was stripped away, just like that in one horribly sad moment, and there was nothing left except for my little family and God.
On the days when I just dwell on how unfair it feels, I almost want to be bitter and forget my blessings. But, you're right. I need to be weary of wearing blinders and remember that the Lord has blessed me and will yet bless me immensely in my life.
You're a wonderful example and you're still in my prayers.
I'm sorry. I know how devastating a miscarrage and the battle with infertiliy can be and I hurt for you.
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